Let’s begin with an apology. With the hectsticity that is Thanksgiving weekend (yes, hectsticity is a made up word, but it works, right?), the opportunity to cover Saturday’s TV picks fell to the waist-side (pun intended). So without further adieu, here’s tonight’s TV selections:
8pm – If you’re watching the football game on NBC, then none of this matters. If you’re not, it’s a toss-up bewteen the Emmy award-winning Amazing Race on CBS and the tear-jerking Extreme Makeover: Home Edition on ABC. I dare you to watch a commerical for Home Makeover and not have your eyes water up. And besides that, I think the show’s name should get a makeover to simply Home Makeover. Extreme is so blase, and also to note, it was a spin-off of a crappy show about plastic surgery. It wasn’t quite as bad as The Swan, but what is? (Answer: MTV’s I Want a Famous Face, natch)
9pm – Hmmm…. a lot of tough match-ups here. A rerun of Fox’s Family Guy or a rerun of NBC’sLaw & Order: SVU? Then there’s also a new episode of ABC’s Desperate Housewives or a new episode of CBS’s Cold Case? Turn on the remainder of the Bears vs. Vikings game, or else you’re left with Steve Irwin vs. the CIA (Crocodile Hunter: Collision Course on the CW).
10pm – Go with The Unit on CBS and watch President Palmer do something other than hock Allstate. Or just finish watching the game.
8pm – The Incredibles is on NBC, so it’s an easy choice, even though they cut out all the sex and nudity for broadcast tv, which is what made it so awesome. What? Oh, I’m thinking of The Inbedibles. As they say in Canada, “Sorry!” (Emphasis on the “o.”)
9pm – What are you still reading for? There’s nothing else worth watching except The Incredibles! Anyone that might enjoy the subtle homoeroticism of WWE Friday Night SmackDown on MyNetwork might be dazzled by the gayness that is The Polar Express on ABC, so there’s a conundrum for those folks at 8pm. But if you like Chris Rock (The CW), Jack Black (Fox), or Jennifer Love Hewitt’s tits (CBS), your path has already been chosen. There is no swaying you.
10:30pm – After The Incredibles, you can stay tuned and catch the second half of The Office’s season opener (which is a standalone episode), or if you’re a Hollywood whackjob like Madonna or (let’s be honest) Angelina Jolie, you can flip over to ABC and watch the second half of 20/20 – it’s about adopting foreign babies. If you can’t stick foreign objects in places they don’t belong, why bother?
8pm – Am I having deja vu? ABC is playing A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving again in case you missed it or didn’t get enough with your first helping. I’ll be watching the Survivor special on CBS, even though that will probably be lame. Behind-the-scenes footage would be so much better if they showed the crew giving scripts to cast members… how else can you explain Bob’s fessing up his fake immunity idol to Sugar? If neither of these are your cup of cranberry sauce, Chloe apparently has developed powers on The CW’sSmallville.
9pm – You can watch the last half of Click on Fox. Adam Sandler’s life journey is about as melodramatic as Derek and Meredith’s love story on ABC’s Grey’s Anatomy. Who am I kidding? By 9pm, everyone should be passed out from the tryptophan.
8pm– Wow. I can’t believe it. It’s finally here. It feels like I’ve been waiting fortyever (that’s ten regular forevers). Not. Rosie Live is on NBC. ROSIE O’DONNELL IS BACK ON TV! Consider this karma because not enough of you assholes have been watching Pushing Daisies on ABC, and it’s going away. Let me repeat that. Pushing Daisies is getting cancelled – Rosie O’Donnell gets a fucking variety show. I don’t care that they’re not on the same network, it’s still crap forty sure.
9pm– Let’s just stick with the suckfest that is everything NBC (except for their awesome Thursday night lineup). Deal or No Deal has some idiot who couldn’t pull out quick enough THIRTEEN TIMES. I bet he’s going to pick numbers real good.
10pm – On ABC, the Barbara Walters Special features an interview with President-Elect Barack Obama and his wife, Michelle. If you happened to watch NBC for the previous two hours, I’d suggest getting a jump on your Thanksgiving dinner tonight by downing a bottle of Drano.
8pm – ABC is hosting A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving. It’s probably painful to watch as an adult, but if you’re willing to try, make sure you watch the above clip before the show starts. Guaranteed warm fuzzy feelings.
9pm – Or actually, 9:08pm (Fox extended House to capture the crowd that tunes into Dancing with the Stars for just the dazzling opening)… The Mentalist is on CBS. I know nothing about this show, but I do know it was rated the best new show by critics… or something like that. Welcome to TV is my IV – where we make this shit up as we go along. Moving along…
10pm – Law & Order: Special Victims Unit is on NBC. There’s a Detective named Benson on this show? Benson? I loved that show as a kid! Did you know it was a spin-off of Soap? And wasn’t Robert Guillaume awesome on Sports Night? I miss that show.
8pm – On ABC, the two-night season finale of Dancing with the Stars begins. Prediction: they will drag this process out as long as possible. Winner: not us.
8:30pm – Not a lot of love has been shown for CBS’sHow I Met Your Mother, so here it is now. At is a pleasantly funny show. (Notice the word hilarious was not used, mind you.) Suggestion: pop over to this show if DWTS, Fox’s Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles, or NBC’s Chuck sucks.
10pm – Go to bed early. Get through work on Tuesday. Drink yourself silly when you get home tomorrow. Go to work hungover on Wednesday. Drink immediately after work to get rid of hangover. Long weekend, here we come!
After last week’s mehpisode, this week Saturday Night Live stepped up its game. Considering TimMcGraw was the host (as opposed to JustinTimberlake who no doubt had to back out in order to stay in bed with Jessica Biel), the show made me laugh. The cold open about the Big Three Bailout was a highlight (which was on Hulu, but seems to have disappeared), as was Michaela Watkins debut as Arianna Huffington.
(Update: I’m an idiot. It’s only a one-night, two-hour thing. Whatever. It’s over. Did I mention I’m an idiot?)
24: Redemption is set to premier tonight on Fox at 8pm. It’s a two-hour event to hype up the return of the new season. What’s hard to comprehend is what can Jack Bauer possibly do in two hours? I mean, he can save the Secretary of Defense, the President, his girlfriend, his co-workers, and the world in one day, but it takes one whole day.
Things he might be able to accomplish in two hours:
Save New Jersey.
Get Elisha Cuthbert some work… in anything other than 24.
Finish his Christmas shopping.
Rescue some turkeys from Sarah Palin.
Make one hell of a lasagna.
Upgrade/downgrade his new pc from Windows Vista to Windows XP.
As this season of Survivor starts picking up some serious steam (baths… at least for Susie), it’s the developing maturity of two contestants that is making the difference. Scratch that. I was enjoying watching Kenny and Sugar grow up into their own skin the last few weeks, but there still is some childishness left in them.
…I felt badly for Randy getting played at tribal council like a banjo at a small town country fair. (Yes, I know, bad analogy and small town and country fair are probably redundant)…
It is redundant Jeff, but I make up words. Like Randy got Sugarfied…
…So why did I feel bad? Maybe there is just something about Randy that I can relate to and sympathize with. Oh, he will hate me saying it like that.
My friend Serena thinks the answer lies with Sugar and the way she handled herself as I read the votes. “Not cool.” (I think she might be right. Serena is almost always right.) That uncontrollable laugh that came from such a deep place inside Sugar was so uncomfortable that I almost wanted to pull the votes out, rearrange them, rewind the tape, and vote Sugar out…
She pulled that after the entire fiasco with the cookies. (She spitefully took advantage of Randy’s last offer for a chocolate chip cookie so he couldn’t get one. I’m not defending him at all, but he could have spilled the entire tray on the ground! I bet Probst& Co. were hoping for that one.)
The thing is – my hands were sweating watching that Tribal Council. I not only felt slightly bad for Randy, but also for Bob. (Not Corinne, though. I agree with what Jeff says below.) Bob seemed like he had second thoughts about the deception, whereas with Randy, it appeared that whatever little faith he had left in humanity was extinguished with his torch.
Jeff on Corinne:
Corinne on the other hand is equally as mean as Randy but I don’t find myself rooting for her in any way. She is an original. I will give her that. Not sure we’ve ever had anybody on the show quite like Corinne. Corinne is as subtle as a thunderstorm. Subtle as the look I give a Survivor when they want to quit. Subtle as, I know, a Probst analogy.
Jerri Manthey can’t hold a candle to Corinne. Jerri had some likable qualities about her, Corinne has none. Just ask her. She’ll tell you the same thing.
And about Kenny’s immaturity – he may be controlling the game… for now, but his choices for elimination seem to come from as equally a vindictive place as Sugar’s.
Click here for an exclusive deleted scene involving Matty’s future plans in Survivor, involving Kenny. (via EW)
Here’s hoping what happens next: Bob, Sugar, and Matty make an alliance against Kenny, Susie, and Crystal. (Corinne is a non-point, except for the possibility of seeing her naked.) And it’s a knock-down drag-out fight to the finale.
It seems like only yesterday our little StephanieTanner was a washed up child star and resident meth head. But then she got all cleanzed up and voila! Married with baby! Not anymore…
Former Full House star and new mom Jodie Sweetin is splitting with her husband.
Sweetin, 26, filed papers Wednesday in Orange County, Calif., for legal separation from Cody Herpin, 31, whom the actress had once called a “blessing” who helped turn around her life after years of methamphetamine addiction. The couple became parents of daughter Zoie in April. (via People)
Apparently, they were working on a reality show that will never be, but here are some possible titles anyway.
Clean Up This Meth
Home Sweetin Home
Fuller House (not to be confused with Filled Out House)
Jodie and Cody – It Rhymes!
Jodie, Cody and Zoie – It Almost Rhymes!
If You Take the “In” Off Their Last Names, They’re Jodie Sweet and Cody Herp
TV IS MY IV 