TV IS MY IV

11:35pm – Dan Aykroyd, yay!  Cold open, boo!  I don’t know if Dan’s just a bit rusty, or if he didn’t get enough prep time, but any laughs he elicited from the audience were almost out of pity or happy memories or a mixture of both.  It didn’t help that the bit wasn’t all that funny.  It tried to make fun of Obama’s recent plans and actions and turn them into some future positive spin for Republicans when they fail.  The skit failed.  Horribly.  Kristen Wiig Counter: 1

11:40pm – Alec Baldwin thanked Christian Bale for taking some of his heat (for calling his daughter a “rude, thoughtless, little pig”) and made further fun of himself.  Kudos.  He introduced Jack McBrayer from 30 Rock and did one of the sometimes funny, sometimes tired Q&A sessions.  Getting sleepy.  Wiig Counter: 2

11:45pm – Baldwin as one of the Jonas Brothers named Gary.  If you thought Britney Spears was a bad actress, triple that.  And yeah, that one Brother is 100% gay (which one, you ask… take your pick).

11:53pm – The Cougar Den – Introduced the concept of a CouGay, which is ho-hum ha-ha, and brought back original skit cougar, Cameron Diaz.  Thank god the boyfriends weren’t the Jonas Brothers.  WC: 3

11:59pm – Digital Short – Damn.  Jonas Brothers again.  At least Andy Samberg found a way to limit their acting and in turn make them mildly entertaining.  In the skit, Samberg confronts them with an old VHS cassette featuring them performing in the 80’s, and he wonders how it’s possible.  It turns out a wizard granted them eternal life.  That’s the joke, folks.

12:01am – Sir Mix-a-Lot’s Photo Shop – Bring your photos in to have back added to the photo.  Abby Elliott’s shown, but has no lines.  Don’t think Wiig is in this one.  I wouldn’t be either.  Mix-a-Lot was used much better in this:

12:07am – Jonas Brothers perform and I assume this will be the only time I ever see them.  Well this and later in the show.

12:13am – Weekend Update – Angelina Jolie returns (via Abby Elliott)!  Michaela Watkins as Angie Tempura blogger of BitchPleeze.com gets chuckles.  Joaquin Phoenix appears (via Jason Sudekis) and bombs worse than he actually did on David Letterman.  Seth Meyers’ closing joke garners the biggest laugh – “If you’re at home watching this Valentine’s Day episode, better luck next year!”  At least he didn’t say anything about blogging.

12:26am – Vincent Price’s Valentine’s Day Special – Baldwin plays Richard Burton.  Meh.  Wiig Counter ups to 4 with her awesome portrayal of Carol Channing.  It rivals her Bjork from last week.

12:35am – Business Meeting – Different excuses to cancel an appointment.  Good lord, please end.  Thank god, it did.  I’m getting ready to watch last’s week’s 30 Rock on Hulu.

12:41am – Definitely watching 30 Rock.  Jonas Brothers are introduced by Baldwin’s rude, thoughtless, little pig?

12:45:am – Wii Game – First, a Mix-a-Lot skit, then Liberace gay jokes, and now a Wii masturbation bit?  Did they go to the file cabinet for these ideas?

12:49am – Chewable Pampers Commercial – I saw this already somehow.  Maybe it was online, but still…  Well, I guess, yeah, it’s kinda funny.  Mostly the different flavors.  WC: 5

12:52am – Virgania Horsen’s Hot Air Balloon Rides – Not as good as her Pony Express.  WC: 6

12:53am – First Coughs – Probably the best skit, where Baldwin’s DVD teaches you how to foreshadow your death in a movie with a slight cough.  Saying it’s “probably the best” isn’t saying much.  I’m trying to remember if there was a cough earlier in the show that foreshadowed this episode’s death.

12:58am – Disappointment sets in.  Onto 30 Rock!