Archive for angelina jolie

SNL Real-Time Review – Alec’s Back!

Posted in Humor, NBC with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 15, 2009 by tvismyiv

11:35pm – Dan Aykroyd, yay!  Cold open, boo!  I don’t know if Dan’s just a bit rusty, or if he didn’t get enough prep time, but any laughs he elicited from the audience were almost out of pity or happy memories or a mixture of both.  It didn’t help that the bit wasn’t all that funny.  It tried to make fun of Obama’s recent plans and actions and turn them into some future positive spin for Republicans when they fail.  The skit failed.  Horribly.  Kristen Wiig Counter: 1

11:40pm – Alec Baldwin thanked Christian Bale for taking some of his heat (for calling his daughter a “rude, thoughtless, little pig”) and made further fun of himself.  Kudos.  He introduced Jack McBrayer from 30 Rock and did one of the sometimes funny, sometimes tired Q&A sessions.  Getting sleepy.  Wiig Counter: 2

11:45pm – Baldwin as one of the Jonas Brothers named Gary.  If you thought Britney Spears was a bad actress, triple that.  And yeah, that one Brother is 100% gay (which one, you ask… take your pick).

11:53pm – The Cougar Den – Introduced the concept of a CouGay, which is ho-hum ha-ha, and brought back original skit cougar, Cameron Diaz.  Thank god the boyfriends weren’t the Jonas BrothersWC: 3

11:59pm – Digital Short – Damn.  Jonas Brothers again.  At least Andy Samberg found a way to limit their acting and in turn make them mildly entertaining.  In the skit, Samberg confronts them with an old VHS cassette featuring them performing in the 80’s, and he wonders how it’s possible.  It turns out a wizard granted them eternal life.  That’s the joke, folks.

12:01am – Sir Mix-a-Lot’s Photo Shop – Bring your photos in to have back added to the photo.  Abby Elliott’s shown, but has no lines.  Don’t think Wiig is in this one.  I wouldn’t be either.  Mix-a-Lot was used much better in this:

12:07am – Jonas Brothers perform and I assume this will be the only time I ever see them.  Well this and later in the show.

12:13am – Weekend Update – Angelina Jolie returns (via Abby Elliott)!  Michaela Watkins as Angie Tempura blogger of BitchPleeze.com gets chuckles.  Joaquin Phoenix appears (via Jason Sudekis) and bombs worse than he actually did on David LettermanSeth Meyers’ closing joke garners the biggest laugh – “If you’re at home watching this Valentine’s Day episode, better luck next year!”  At least he didn’t say anything about blogging.

12:26am – Vincent Price’s Valentine’s Day SpecialBaldwin plays Richard Burton.  Meh.  Wiig Counter ups to 4 with her awesome portrayal of Carol ChanningIt rivals her Bjork from last week.

12:35am – Business Meeting – Different excuses to cancel an appointment.  Good lord, please end.  Thank god, it did.  I’m getting ready to watch last’s week’s 30 Rock on Hulu.

12:41am – Definitely watching 30 RockJonas Brothers are introduced by Baldwin’s rude, thoughtless, little pig?

12:45:am – Wii Game – First, a Mix-a-Lot skit, then Liberace gay jokes, and now a Wii masturbation bit?  Did they go to the file cabinet for these ideas?

12:49am – Chewable Pampers Commercial – I saw this already somehow.  Maybe it was online, but still…  Well, I guess, yeah, it’s kinda funny.  Mostly the different flavorsWC: 5

12:52am – Virgania Horsen’s Hot Air Balloon Rides – Not as good as her Pony ExpressWC: 6

12:53am – First Coughs – Probably the best skit, where Baldwin’s DVD teaches you how to foreshadow your death in a movie with a slight cough.  Saying it’s “probably the best” isn’t saying much.  I’m trying to remember if there was a cough earlier in the show that foreshadowed this episode’s death.

12:58am – Disappointment sets in.  Onto 30 Rock!

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Friday’s TV Picks

Posted in ABC, CBS, Film, FOX, Humor, MyNetwork, NBC, The CW, TV with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 28, 2008 by sgottahurt

8pmThe Incredibles is on NBC, so it’s an easy choice, even though they cut out all the sex and nudity for broadcast tv, which is what made it so awesome.  What?  Oh, I’m thinking of The Inbedibles.  As they say in Canada, “Sorry!”  (Emphasis on the “o.”)

9pm – What are you still reading for?  There’s nothing else worth watching except The Incredibles!  Anyone that might enjoy the subtle homoeroticism of WWE Friday Night SmackDown on MyNetwork might be dazzled by the gayness that is The Polar Express on ABC, so there’s a conundrum for those folks at 8pm.  But if you like Chris Rock (The CW), Jack Black (Fox), or Jennifer Love Hewitt’s tits (CBS), your path has already been chosen.  There is no swaying you.

10:30pm – After The Incredibles, you can stay tuned and catch the second half of The Office’s season opener (which is a standalone episode), or if you’re a Hollywood whackjob like Madonna or (let’s be honest) Angelina Jolie, you can flip over to ABC and watch the second half of 20/20 – it’s about adopting foreign babies.  If you can’t stick foreign objects in places they don’t belong, why bother?

Once upon a time...

Once upon a time...

Tuesday’s TV Picked Scabs

Posted in ABC, CBS, Film, FOX, Humor, MyNetwork, NBC, The CW, TV with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 19, 2008 by sgottahurt

8pm – Fox’s HouseInspector Gadget gets the problem patient.  He crumbles up and tosses the message and everyone blows up.  Penny and Brain help Gadget solve the case!  Isn’t that how it always goes?

8pm – The CW’s 90210 – Wah, wah!  Catfight!  Underage sex!  Cameo!

8pm – CBS’ NCIS – Isn’t this that CSI show with the guy from Summer SchoolChainsaw rocks!

9pm – ABC’s Dancing With the Stars Results ShowAretha Franklin, Leona Lewis, John Legend, and Julianne Hough sang… people danced… the producers successfully strung out a five-minute show into an hour (two hours if you count the hour recap before this hour)… and Cody Linley’s going home (I’ll miss you Julianne!)…

9pm – Fox’s Fringe – I’m waiting for the DVD of this show… if it gets a second season.  It’s Fox, so you know I’m right about trying not to get hooked on something they’ll cancel.  Assholes.

9pm – MyNetwork’s Jail – Back-to-back episodes that kind of act as a “Where are they now?” for former guests of Jerry Springer, People’s Court, and Cheaters.

10pm – NBC’s Law & Order: SVU – Didn’t that one dude play Casey Jones in the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Movie?  No?  Well, I know for a fact Ice-T played a mutant kangaroo.

10pm – ABC’s Eli Stone – Real quick Jonny Lee Miller facts:

  • Played Zero Cool in Hackers
  • Played Sick Boy in Trainspotting
  • Was married to Angelina Jolie
  • Now stars opposite Natasha Henstridge (who was super hot in Species, which was why she had to keep taking off her clothes) and the cute-as-a-button, Julie Gonzalo.  ‘Nuff said!
Julie Gonzalo

Julie Gonzalo