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SNL Real-Time Review – Jude Law (No Pun Is Worth It)

Posted in Humor, NBC, TV with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 14, 2010 by tvismyiv

I was going to say this could be the best thing Jude Law was in since Sherlock Holmes, but in reality, the best thing he was ever in was…

You didn't really think I'd post a picture of host, Jude Law, did you?

…Gattaca!  I was going to say Gattaca!  Or A.I.!  Anyway, let’s begin.

Former Congressman Massa Exit Interview (Cold Open)
One of the better opens in a while.  Mostly because the true story was already absurdly comical. Kristen Wiig Counter: 1

Jude Law’s Monologue
It’s funny that Ashlee Simpson’s infamous musical performance happened during his last hosting gig.  That’s it.  Nothing else was funny.

Toyota, Um, Ford Spoof Commercial?
Since people actually died, I’m not sure I feel about– wait, wait… I’m rather indifferent either way.

Secret Word Game Show
Wiig and Law sure do commit to their characters.  Wiig Counter: 2

Broadview Security Commercial
My crush on Nasim Pedrad is growing because of this fake commercial.  Yeah… just my crush.

This is not from Maxim.

Killer Spanish Restaurant
I like it when SNL has actual Actors! because they try harder.  So I guess what I’m saying is that Jude Law is a lot like Avis.

Boombox – Digital Short
One of the few songs off of Incredibad not to get a video finally gets a video.  All I can say is this: I didn’t know the lead singer of The Strokes looked like that.  Didn’t he used to be a model or something?

Pearl Jam’s First Performance
People in high school used to say my friend, Brandon, looked like Eddie Vedder.  He didn’t, and it was really only his girlfriend that perpetuated that idea, but it made me not like Pearl Jam, even (flow) though I liked a lot of their music.  I didn’t come to terms with my being a fan until I saw them perform at Lollapalooza.  I guess what I’m getting at is this: Eddie, I’m sorry for all the wasted years of disinterest.

Weekend Update
The Whoopi Goldberg pee pad commercial was addressed (when I was trying to forget it), and Jerry Seinfeld was on in a Really!?! segment (which made me miss Amy Poehler).  Man, is The Marriage Ref awful, or what?

Twilight Zone Spoof
A riff on the classic Nightmare at 20,000 Feet episode seems like it should have been done a long time ago, but that made it no less enjoyable.  I’m already nominating this as the best skit of the nightmare, I mean, night.

SIDENOTE: I really wish I could find out which performer writes which skit, because again, I have a sneaking feeling Padrid wrote this.  Here’s my supporting evidence:

  • It has an odd pop-culture reference like the Smash Mouth skit a couple weeks ago…
  • Padrid was featured in prominent roles in both bits…
  • That’s it…

Hamlet Try-Outs
First, they double-dipped on Massa (cold open/Really!?!).  Now they did it with Law’s performance in Hamlet (see also: monologue… on second thought – don’t)?  At least there were some decent impersonations.

Kickspit Underground Rock Festival
Yes!  I loved this last time I saw it! Can’t wait for this new– oh.  It’s the same one… Still funny.  Mostly because of Ass Dan.

Pearl Jam’s Second Performance
I’m not going on a diatribe this time.  I only want to add one thing, though, while I’m thinking of it.  Three days of the same thing can really take a toll on you.  Of course, I’m speaking of Lollapalooza.  Now I’m not saying I wouldn’t attend again, but I haven’t attended since I went that last time.  It wasn’t that I didn’t enjoy the scene.  The Chicago heat was unbearable that August, and I didn’t dare to drink out of fear of dehydration.  Oops.  Diatribe.

Court Stenographer
It seems a bit soon for this character’s return (even though I don’t remember who hosted last time), but it still makes me smile for some reason.  Wiig Counter: only, amazingly 3

Talk Show With Ravish
People cheered like this was a recurring skit, but I think it was because the set was shaking.  More annoying than anything.  Except for the Jay Leno Walking With Ravish… kinda.

Overall Episode: C-
This Review: B+

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SNL Real-Time Review – Some Highs And Some J-Lo’s

Posted in Humor, NBC, TV with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 28, 2010 by tvismyiv

I haven’t written a review of Saturday Night Live this season since the Megan Fox season premiere.  Mostly for no reason other than I haven’t been home on Saturday nights (sad face tonight).  So with the Kristen Wiig Counter in full effect, let’s begin…

Back in the day, but not the Bronx days...

We Are the World 3 Benefit for We Are the World 2 Disaster (Cold Open)
By far, one of the best cold opens in a while, mostly because I agreed with it (and was equally late on the criticism). Wiig Counter: 1

Jennifer Lopez’s Monologue
I was surprised at how hot J-Lo looked.  I wasn’t surprised that the audience response wasn’t that warm.

ESPN Classic – Ladies Curling
One of Will Forte’s best characters is Greg Stink.  Come to think of it – it is his best, because I can’t think of any others.  Wiig Counter: 2

Digital Short – Flags of the World
Awesome and requires repeated viewings.  Especially to figure out the “I like to hit people with my car” subtitle.  And also because of adorable Abby Elliott.  Will post as soon as available.

Hollywood Dish
I’m not too into this bit normally, but this one had its moments.  And none of those moments belonged to J-Lo.  (Spit take was a win.  Also, the “I like to hit people with my car” subtitle finally makes sense!) Wiig Counter: 3

Telemundo Olympic Coverage
For the record, Jenny Slate’s Spanish accent is muy terrible.  Lopez and Fred Armison’s reaction to the “unfinished” ski jump was pretty funny, as was their reaction to people living in Vancouver, and curling not being shuffleboard.  Bobby Moynihan as a man-child armed with a pie earns this skit bonus points.

Undercover Celebrity Boss
I love the original show, and this was a clever riff. Wiig Counter: 4

Lopez’s First Performance
Usually I approve of singers (and athletes and politicians) playing Actors! on SNL, but the other way is indulgent.  Couple that with the fact that despite having a few “hits” under her belt, I will never consider Jenny from the Block an actual musician.  She’s an Actor! that sings (pitchy on the high notes), and even though she was better than, say, Ashley Simpson, merely by singing live, that didn’t stop her label from dropping her… only two days ago.

(SIDENOTE: Kudos to her performing despite that fact.  Double kudos to her ass hopefully keeping Kim Kardashian’s buxom behind as far away from this show as possible.)

BTW… fuck NBC for their Tonight Show with Jay Leno ads.  This one, I approve:

Weekend Update
Some of the jokes were pretty easy, but aren’t they always?  Something not as easy – for Armison’s (blind New York governor) David Patterson impersonation, they have to hold his cue cards off to the side to complete his “wonky eye” effect.

Univision’s Besos Y Lagrimas
Or in English, “Kisses and Tears” (don’t be impressed – I Babelfished it).  It was as over-the-top as I would have expected, and did expect.  As is the tradition with these type of skits.  (It is a thirty-five year old show after all.  Not that thirty-five is that old…)  Wiig Counter: 5

Romance in the Copy Room
Despite being frowned upon by the masses – and even by me at times – Kenan Thompson has a few fun characters in his repertoire.  This is his second best after What Up Wit’ Dat? The sliding in and out works quite well.

Lopez’s Second Performance
All I can think about during this performance is the fact that her comeback song was supposed to be Louboutins (a song about shoes) and how she fell during her first performance of it at the AMA’s.  A weird feeling is coming over me while watching her sing.  Is it pity?  Is it compassion?  I think it’s hunger.

Smashmouth Attacks!
Bravo!  The best of the night, at least as far as ideas go.  I have to wonder if Nasim Pedrad wrote this bit, and if she did, she needs to write more.  Oops on the boom microphone in the shot.

Car Horns and More
When I was a kid, my sibs and I made an audio tape version of SNL (because we did not have a camcorder, you see).  This is the type of skit we made.  Doesn’t mean I didn’t smile.

Closet Organizer
Was this a new commercial?  No.  They showed it, like, an episode or two ago.  Wiig Counter: 6 (barely)

FINAL DECISION: I’d rank this somewhere between January Jones and Charles Barkley’s appearances.  And I’m surprised I didn’t hate on the Wedding Planner that much.

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SNL Real-Time Review – Surprisingly, Fox Didn’t Sux

Posted in Humor, NBC, TV with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 27, 2009 by sgottahurt
megan-fox-star-wars

Star Wars was a good movie...

Gaddafi Cold Open
Fred Armison’s portrayal of the Libyan leader isn’t difficult, but that doesn’t make the jokes about his UN ramblings any less funny.

New Opening Footage
Wow.  There’s not too many ladies there anymore.  But the lovely Abby Elliott looked lovely.

Megan Fox’s Monologue
Not too bad.  Mostly due to my having low expectations.

Fake Bladdivan Commercial
As a victim of chronic shy-bladder syndrome, I found this bit a bit easy.  Squirt guns? In a commercial about peeing?  Hilarious, right?

Real Starbucks Via Commercial
Can’t believe they brought up town hall shouters already…

Real Oreo Commercial
Yay for Darrell Hammond getting to spoof Donald Trump in Donald Trump’s presence!  Boo Eli Manning, for no reason.  Albeit I still gotta give him props for toppling Tom Brady.

Bad News Flight Attendants
Opened funny, via Abby and Andy Samberg. Maintained absurd humor throughout.  Liked Megan’s performance.  Plus, the return of the Kristen Wiig Counter: 1

Russian Brides
Svetlana and Katya are the brides-to-be. Svetlana is played by Fred; Katya is played by Megan.  Svetlana is $10 cheaper.  Will Forte has a hard time deciding between the two.  I decided it was comical enough.

Digital Short
Weird mismatched couple’s date is, um, weird.  But I’m beginning to think Megan has talent.  Not a classic by any means, but the performances elevated it to smile-worthy.

Grady Wilson’s Burning Up the Bedsheets
Kenan Thompson’s first appearance is a bit lewd.  Surprisingly lewd.  But surprisingly silly, to the point that I did laugh.

U2’s First Performance
Does their longevity in the music industry have to do with their talent, or the fact that l33t became mainstream through IMing, texting, and now Tweeting?

(SIDENOTE: I just noticed the 35 in SNL’s logo.  Man, Lorne Michaels must be old.)

Weekend Update
It’s strange to watch this without Amy Poehler, especially since she was there on Thursday… Kristen still impresses the hell out of me with her Judy Grimes… just-kidding.  Wiig Counter: 2

Live Lounge
Spoof of modern phone sex lines that’s spot-on AKA easy. Wiig Counter: 3

U2’s Second Performance
…is background noise to me right now.  I just was trying to update my iPhone so it would have MMS (pictures in text messages), and it crashed and had to restore – to an earlier backup!  I need to figure out how to get back a bunch of shit I bought!

Biker Chick Chat
New girl’s skit.  New Wayne’s World? Probably not.  DID SHE JUST SAY FUCKING?!  Rewind.  YES!  At least we know it’s live… Wiig Counter: 4

Digital Short (another one?)
Optimus Prime is Megan’s roommate.  Or is he?  Best skit of the night.  Save doucheBAG… BAG = Brian Austin Green Not a coincidence, me thinks…

Your Mom Talks to Megan Fox While You Finish Getting Ready
Probably how it would go down in real life. Kristen sells it, as usual, and increases her Wiig Counter to 6.  Wait, it’s only 5? Slow night.  But conversely, Megan was in almost all – a rarity for hosts, it seems, and amazingly, she’s held her own

FINAL DECISION: Not as strong as last season’s John Malkovich’s episode, but better than most.  Why is Bono swinging around on a microphone?  And how much is new girl’s fricking FUCK gonna cost?

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SNL Real-Time Blog

Posted in Humor, NBC, TV with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 14, 2008 by sgottahurt

11:30 – Cold Open – A skit Andy Samberg did a couple weeks ago was cut because of bleeped-out cussing, yet this skit’s only highlight was the cussing.  Maybe if I knew more about the Governor of Illinois it might have been funnier, but the crowd didn’t seem too into either.  Also, the Kristen Wiig Counter is at 1.

11:38 – Hugh Laurie’s Monologue – I don’t know why my mind expected him to walk out with a limp and a cane, (that’d be like me expecting him to come out holding Stuart Little), but for some reason I forgot about his accent, too.  His jokes were very dry, as was his Christmas song medley, but Laurie’s likability shone through, so… win?

11:43 – Bronx Beat – Maya Rudolph is back (?) and Amy Poehler is back to regular size.  You could feel the comfort level and rapport between these two fine comediennes, especially when they took Laurie to the ropes making innuendos about cuts of meat (he played a local butcher).  The distinguished actor that he is almost broke character, so that made it work.

11:54 – Christmas Dinner – Short tempers flare at a dinner party.  The dinner party’s saved by a rendition of Silent Night, Holy Night… almost.  Does ir save the skit… not even close.  So far I feel Laurie’s skills are being squandered.  Or maybe he’s not funny.  Or maybe his Brit humor clashes with the farting humor this show tends to have.  Nonetheless, the idea of subtle tensions at a dinner party worked better in Will Farrell’s classic “I drive a Dodge Stratus” skit.  Wiig Counter: 2

12:02 – Wedding Toasts – This skit was actually pretty good.  Everyone rotated as eccentrics giving toasts.  I liked Bobby Moynihan’s mic drop the best (see I learned his name – I pray he doesn’t have that waiter skit tonight).  Wiig Counter: 3

12:11 – Um… wow… and not good wow.  Kanye West should not sing.  Because he can’t.  If the Lil Wayne digitizer was supposed to do something to his voice it didn’t.  And his look was ridiculous.  Also, I’m beginning to think half of the people that work on this show already checked out for the holidays.

12:17 – Weekend Update – It’s funny how they get Fred Armison to play every black guy (and Maya Rudolph to play every black woman… Kenan Thompson only gets to play the fat black men and women).  This time he was New York governor, David Patterson, and he was humorous enough (especially when he kept wandering in front of the camera a la McCain).  Really!?! with Seth & Amy is one of my favorite bits, so I was happy to see them attack Governor Rod Blagojevich (saying his hair was like Little People toys was spot on <—British!)  The worst part was Poehler announcing this was her last episode.  Thanks for the laughs, Amy… you will be missed!

12:32 – Lamps! – Um… weird… and not good weird.  Living lamps?  Holding their owner’s hostage?  And it’s a musical?  Who thought of this?  Seriously, I am beginning to think everyone on the staff has left.  Wiig Counter: 4

12:39 – Cat Christmas Letter – Don’t know why, but cat humor almost always gets me.  On the other hand, dead cat humor always gets me.  Sprinkle it with passive-aggressiveness and puns – purrrrrrrfect!  Wiig Counter: 5

12:48 – Digital Short – Amidst discussion of layoffs, Armison’s cookie fanatic finds himself eating something that’s not quite cookies.  Armison sells it.  Still, I’m reminded of a better old skit with Rainn Wilson.

12:53 – Kanye’s back.  Isn’t that the same song?  I know it’s not, but what happened to this guy?  I loved College Dropout so much.  This new stuff is crap.  And stop singing/rapping about Louis Vuitton!

1:00 – What a let down compared to last week’s homerun of an episode, AND it’s Amy Poehler’s last?  Bummer.

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Leno To Jay Up Primetime

Posted in ABC, Film, Humor, NBC, TV with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on December 10, 2008 by sgottahurt

What has NBC become?  Besides a shadow of its former self in the 80’s and 90’s, it’s become home for another late night talk show.  Maybe late is an overstatement (from NY Times):

…(Jay) Leno’s new show will appear at 10 o’clock each weeknight in a format similar to “The Tonight Show,” which he has hosted since 1993…

This is a move made to keep a promise made to Conan O’Brien five years ago (that he would take hold of Johnny Carson’s reigns, ‘natch), and to keep Leno from becoming possible competition a la David Letterman, which happened when he moved to CBS back in the day.

This plan will also take pressure off the creative vacuum at the Peacock Network to script worthy prime time shows.  Since ER is flat-lining at the end of this season, all they’ll have to do is move any remaining Law & Orders to 9pm.  Bonus: they’ll be saving $13,000,000 a week.

For those of you worried about the new show’s content, put your mind at ease:

…The new show, which will begin next fall, is expected to be set in Mr. Leno’s longtime studio in Burbank, Calif. Mr. Leno is expected to retain many of the most popular elements of his “Tonight Show,” including his monologue and bits like “Headlines” and “Jay Walking.” One “Tonight Show” staff member said the new program would not be a variety show.

Here’s a few suggested uses for the surplus $13 million/week:

  1. Get the rights to Pushing Daisies from ABC and produce it.  It’s better than anything else NBC puts out (My Own Worst Enemy, Knight Rider, Heroes).
  2. Produce a show like Pushing Daisies.  A TV show based on Fables (a comic book series where fairy tale characters interact in the real world) is looking for a home.  Sign ’em up!
  3. Give it to the Big Three auto makers in Detroit.  They could become the Big G.E. Three…
  4. Pay to keep good people on Saturday Night Live.  Not everyone that walks away is a guaranteed success.  Make Studio 8H their home.
  5. Promote the hell out of 30 Rock.  Make Alec happy.
  6. Get some talent involved in the writing of Heroes.
  7. Give it to Conan.  He deserves it.

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Wednesday’s TV Picks

Posted in ABC, CBS, Humor, NBC, TV with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 10, 2008 by sgottahurt

8pm – ABC’s Pushing Daisies, blah blah blah.  Mere episodes are left of the creative show, so you could ride it out until the cliffhanger (yippie!), or go with The New Adventures of Old Christine and Gary Unmarried on CBS.  Julia Louis-Dreyfus is one of the few pretty ladies with the comedic chops to match, and Jay Mohr stars with Paula Marshall and Jaime King… both of whom have been naked on cable and film, so kudos to him.

9pm – Life on NBC stars Sarah Shahi.  In most episodes, she happens to be in various states of undress.  Think – the second coming of Eva Longoria, minus the hype and annoying.

Sarah Shahi is not shy

Sarah Shahi is not shy

10pm – Can’t wait ’til Jay Leno’s new show starts!  Not really… but there isn’t any crap on except for Law & Snoreder on NBC and Dirty Sexy Money Pit on ABC.  Do anything else instead.

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Lost Season 5 Preview – Run Kate Run!

Posted in ABC, Humor, TV, Video with tags , , , , , on December 3, 2008 by sgottahurt

Do not get me wrong – I absolutely thirst for this show.  The wait has caused my lungs to collapse and my other addictions to relapse.

Pretty much like how it is for Kate.  In this snippet of a preview for the Season 5 Premiere of ABC’s Lost, we quickly come to realize Kate hasn’t broken her old habits… namely, running from Johnny Law.  I’ll bet a nice return visit to the Island should solve everything…

January 21st can’t get here quick enough.

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Wednesday’s TV Picks

Posted in ABC, CBS, FOX, Humor, NBC, TV with tags , , , , , , , , , , on December 3, 2008 by sgottahurt

8pm – There’s nothing to be done for ABC’s Pushing Daisies except to say: buy the Season 2 DVD next year.  That having been said, you have your pick of Christmas retread-itions (NBC lights up their 30 Rock tree and CBS lights up Rudolph’s nose).  Or you can check out Fox’s Secret Millionaire.

According to Fox’s site:

Each week, one of the wealthiest Americans, worth millions of dollars, will go undercover into one of the most impoverished and dangerous towns in America. Their job is to spend one week canvassing the town – meeting as many people as possible – some of whom will touch the millionaire with their dedication to helping others while others will have incredible stories of trying to overcome tremendous odds. On the final day, the Secret Millionaire meets with the chosen recipients and reveals his/her true identity and intentions – to give them a sum of money that is going to change their lives forever.

Unless the Secret Millionaires are Mark Cuban, Bill Gates, or Donald Trump – not interested.  But if there’s a possibility for a mugging…

9pm – If you’re interested in the Grammy’s, then CBS is for you.  They’ll announce the nominees and Celine Dion will perform.  If you’re interested in Grammy’s… you have a problem.

10pm – To the opposite end of the spectrum: Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show.  On CBS.  Victoria’s Secret.  Fashion Show.  What part of this are you not getting?

Secret Santas

Secret Santas

 Much better than Secret Millionaires, indeed.

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Monday’s TV Picks

Posted in ABC, Humor, NBC, TV with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on December 1, 2008 by sgottahurt

8pm – While the pull of nostalgia is strong over at ABC (they’re playing, um, Shrek the Halls and How the Grinch Stole Christmas!), upChuck is brand new on NBC, so you might want to look there.  Is it just me, or doesn’t Chuck seem to be a bit too old to be playing store clerk/spy?  And doesn’t it seem convenient how often he gets “flashes” right before they need them?

9pm – It must be NBC’s lucky day.  Heroes is a must-see.  It’s not often enough you get to see a train wreck in action.  Hiro is going to get his memory back via comic books.  Brilliant!

10pm – The final bone is being thrown to ABC’s Boston Legal as it nears the end of its five-season run.  Betty White guest stars, plus Captain Kirk comes to terms with his impending Alzheimer’s.  Oh, the laughs to be had…

(For more Slave Leia’s than you can shake a lightsaber at, click here.)

Yvonne Strahovski... and that guy who plays Chuck.

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Sunday’s TV Picks

Posted in ABC, CBS, Film, FOX, Humor, NBC, The CW, TV with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 30, 2008 by sgottahurt

Let’s begin with an apology.  With the hectsticity that is Thanksgiving weekend (yes, hectsticity is a made up word, but it works, right?), the opportunity to cover Saturday’s TV picks fell to the waist-side (pun intended).  So without further adieu, here’s tonight’s TV selections:

8pm – If you’re watching the football game on NBC, then none of this matters.  If you’re not, it’s a toss-up bewteen the Emmy award-winning Amazing Race on CBS and the tear-jerking Extreme Makeover: Home Edition on ABC.  I dare you to watch a commerical for Home Makeover and not have your eyes water up.  And besides that, I think the show’s name should get a makeover to simply Home Makeover.  Extreme is so blase, and also to note, it was a spin-off of a crappy show about plastic surgery.  It wasn’t quite as bad as The Swan, but what is?  (Answer: MTV’s I Want a Famous Face, natch)

9pm – Hmmm…. a lot of tough match-ups here.  A rerun of Fox’s Family Guy or a rerun of NBC’s Law & Order: SVU?  Then there’s also a new episode of ABC’s Desperate Housewives or a new episode of CBS’s Cold Case?  Turn on the remainder of the Bears vs. Vikings game, or else you’re left with Steve Irwin vs. the CIA (Crocodile Hunter: Collision Course on the CW).

10pm – Go with The Unit on CBS and watch President Palmer do something other than hock Allstate.  Or just finish watching the game.

Pre-Annoying Eva Longoria

Pre-Annoying Eva Longoria

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