Archive for the TV Category

Friday’s TV Picks

Posted in ABC, CBS, Film, FOX, Humor, MyNetwork, NBC, The CW, TV with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 28, 2008 by sgottahurt

8pmThe Incredibles is on NBC, so it’s an easy choice, even though they cut out all the sex and nudity for broadcast tv, which is what made it so awesome.  What?  Oh, I’m thinking of The Inbedibles.  As they say in Canada, “Sorry!”  (Emphasis on the “o.”)

9pm – What are you still reading for?  There’s nothing else worth watching except The Incredibles!  Anyone that might enjoy the subtle homoeroticism of WWE Friday Night SmackDown on MyNetwork might be dazzled by the gayness that is The Polar Express on ABC, so there’s a conundrum for those folks at 8pm.  But if you like Chris Rock (The CW), Jack Black (Fox), or Jennifer Love Hewitt’s tits (CBS), your path has already been chosen.  There is no swaying you.

10:30pm – After The Incredibles, you can stay tuned and catch the second half of The Office’s season opener (which is a standalone episode), or if you’re a Hollywood whackjob like Madonna or (let’s be honest) Angelina Jolie, you can flip over to ABC and watch the second half of 20/20 – it’s about adopting foreign babies.  If you can’t stick foreign objects in places they don’t belong, why bother?

Once upon a time...

Once upon a time...

Thanksgiving Day’s TV Picks

Posted in ABC, CBS, Film, FOX, Humor, The CW, TV with tags , , , , , , , on November 27, 2008 by sgottahurt

8pm – Am I having deja vu?  ABC is playing A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving again in case you missed it or didn’t get enough with your first helping.  I’ll be watching the Survivor special on CBS, even though that will probably be lame.  Behind-the-scenes footage would be so much better if they showed the crew giving scripts to cast members… how else can you explain Bob’s fessing up his fake immunity idol to Sugar?  If neither of these are your cup of cranberry sauce, Chloe apparently has developed powers on The CW’s Smallville.

9pm – You can watch the last half of Click on FoxAdam Sandler’s life journey is about as melodramatic as Derek and Meredith’s love story on ABC’s Grey’s Anatomy.  Who am I kidding?  By 9pm, everyone should be passed out from the tryptophan.

10pm – Zzzzzzz….

Wednesday’s TV Picks

Posted in ABC, Humor, NBC, TV with tags , , , , , , , , on November 26, 2008 by sgottahurt

8pm– Wow.  I can’t believe it.  It’s finally here.  It feels like I’ve been waiting fortyever (that’s ten regular forevers).  Not.  Rosie Live is on NBCROSIE O’DONNELL IS BACK ON TV!  Consider this karma because not enough of you assholes have been watching Pushing Daisies on ABC, and it’s going away.  Let me repeat that.  Pushing Daisies is getting cancelled – Rosie O’Donnell gets a fucking variety show.  I don’t care that they’re not on the same network, it’s still crap forty sure.

9pm– Let’s just stick with the suckfest that is everything NBC (except for their awesome Thursday night lineup).  Deal or No Deal has some idiot who couldn’t pull out quick enough THIRTEEN TIMES.  I bet he’s going to pick numbers real good.

10pm – On ABC, the Barbara Walters Special features an interview with President-Elect Barack Obama and his wife, Michelle.  If you happened to watch NBC for the previous two hours, I’d suggest getting a jump on your Thanksgiving dinner tonight by downing a bottle of Drano.

Uh... um... still not watching

Uh... um... still not watching

Tuesday’s TV Picks

Posted in ABC, CBS, FOX, Humor, NBC, TV, Video with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on November 25, 2008 by sgottahurt

8pmABC is hosting A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving.  It’s probably painful to watch as an adult, but if you’re willing to try, make sure you watch the above clip before the show starts.  Guaranteed warm fuzzy feelings.

9pm – Or actually, 9:08pm (Fox extended House to capture the crowd that tunes into Dancing with the Stars for just the dazzling opening)… The Mentalist is on CBS.  I know nothing about this show, but I do know it was rated the best new show by critics… or something like that.  Welcome to TV is my IV – where we make this shit up as we go along.  Moving along…

10pmLaw & Order: Special Victims Unit is on NBC.  There’s a Detective named Benson on this show?  Benson?  I loved that show as a kid!  Did you know it was a spin-off of Soap?  And wasn’t Robert Guillaume awesome on Sports Night?  I miss that show.

Monday’s TV Picks

Posted in ABC, CBS, FOX, NBC, TV with tags , , , , , , , , , , on November 24, 2008 by sgottahurt

8pm – On ABC, the two-night season finale of Dancing with the Stars begins.  Prediction: they will drag this process out as long as possible.  Winner: not us.

8:30pm – Not a lot of love has been shown for CBS’s How I Met Your Mother, so here it is now.  At is a pleasantly funny show.  (Notice the word hilarious was not used, mind you.)  Suggestion: pop over to this show if DWTS, Fox’s Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles, or NBC’s Chuck sucks.

9pmNBC’s Heroes.  Check out the questions Matt Roush from TV Guide had to face.  They’re not too tough.  They’re not too insightful.  It’s just better than watching the show.

10pm – Go to bed early.  Get through work on Tuesday.  Drink yourself silly when you get home tomorrow.  Go to work hungover on Wednesday.  Drink immediately after work to get rid of hangover.  Long weekend, here we come!

Not A Bad Night For SNL

Posted in Humor, NBC, TV, Video with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on November 23, 2008 by sgottahurt

After last week’s mehpisode, this week Saturday Night Live stepped up its game.  Considering Tim McGraw was the host (as opposed to Justin Timberlake who no doubt had to back out in order to stay in bed with Jessica Biel), the show made me laugh.  The cold open about the Big Three Bailout was a highlight (which was on Hulu, but seems to have disappeared), as was Michaela Watkins debut as Arianna Huffington.

Here’s an always awesome Kristen Wiig highlight:

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Also, where’s more Abby Elliot?!  And get rid out that stupid waiter character by that new guy I don’t think I like!

(Click here for more clips on Hulu.)

Jack’s Back (For Only Two Hours, Though…)

Posted in FOX, Humor, TV with tags , , , , , , , on November 23, 2008 by sgottahurt

(Update: I’m an idiot.  It’s only a one-night, two-hour thing.  Whatever.  It’s over.  Did I mention I’m an idiot?)

24: Redemption is set to premier tonight on Fox at 8pm.  It’s a two-hour event to hype up the return of the new season.  What’s hard to comprehend is what can Jack Bauer possibly do in two hours?  I mean, he can save the Secretary of Defense, the President, his girlfriend, his co-workers, and the world in one day, but it takes one whole day.

Things he might be able to accomplish in two hours:

  • Save New Jersey.
  • Get Elisha Cuthbert some work… in anything other than 24
  • Finish his Christmas shopping.
  • Rescue some turkeys from Sarah Palin.
  • Make one hell of a lasagna.
  • Upgrade/downgrade his new pc from Windows Vista to Windows XP.
  • Watch The Lost Boys 2.
  • Save the world, only faster.

Survivor Recap: That’s The Way The (Sugar) Cookie Crumbles

Posted in CBS, Humor, TV, Video with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 22, 2008 by sgottahurt

As this season of Survivor starts picking up some serious steam (baths… at least for Susie), it’s the developing maturity of two contestants that is making the difference.  Scratch that.  I was enjoying watching Kenny and Sugar grow up into their own skin the last few weeks, but there still is some childishness left in them.

As Jeff Probst put it in his weekly, um, Entertainment Weekly blog:

…I felt badly for Randy getting played at tribal council like a banjo at a small town country fair. (Yes, I know, bad analogy and small town and country fair are probably redundant)…

It is redundant Jeff, but I make up words.  Like Randy got Sugarfied

…So why did I feel bad? Maybe there is just something about Randy that I can relate to and sympathize with. Oh, he will hate me saying it like that.

My friend Serena thinks the answer lies with Sugar and the way she handled herself as I read the votes. “Not cool.” (I think she might be right. Serena is almost always right.) That uncontrollable laugh that came from such a deep place inside Sugar was so uncomfortable that I almost wanted to pull the votes out, rearrange them, rewind the tape, and vote Sugar out…

She pulled that after the entire fiasco with the cookies.  (She spitefully took advantage of Randy’s last offer for a chocolate chip cookie so he couldn’t get one.  I’m not defending him at all, but he could have spilled the entire tray on the ground!  I bet Probst & Co. were hoping for that one.)

The thing is – my hands were sweating watching that Tribal Council.  I not only felt slightly bad for Randy, but also for Bob.  (Not Corinne, though.  I agree with what Jeff says below.)  Bob seemed like he had second thoughts about the deception, whereas with Randy, it appeared that whatever little faith he had left in humanity was extinguished with his torch.

Jeff on Corinne:

Corinne on the other hand is equally as mean as Randy but I don’t find myself rooting for her in any way. She is an original. I will give her that. Not sure we’ve ever had anybody on the show quite like Corinne. Corinne is as subtle as a thunderstorm. Subtle as the look I give a Survivor when they want to quit. Subtle as, I know, a Probst analogy.

Jerri Manthey can’t hold a candle to Corinne. Jerri had some likable qualities about her, Corinne has none. Just ask her. She’ll tell you the same thing.

And about Kenny’s immaturity – he may be controlling the game… for now,  but his choices for elimination seem to come from as equally a vindictive place as Sugar’s.

Click here for an exclusive deleted scene involving Matty’s future plans in Survivor, involving Kenny(via EW)

Here’s hoping what happens next: Bob, Sugar, and Matty make an alliance against Kenny, Susie, and Crystal.  (Corinne is a non-point, except for the possibility of seeing her naked.)  And it’s a knock-down drag-out fight to the finale.

In closing:

Full House To Get A Little Less Full

Posted in ABC, Humor, TV with tags , , , , , , on November 22, 2008 by sgottahurt
WTF?

Phone call from a flamingo? WTF?

It seems like only yesterday our little Stephanie Tanner was a washed up child star and resident meth head.  But then she got all cleanzed up and voila!  Married with baby!  Not anymore…

Former Full House star and new mom Jodie Sweetin is splitting with her husband.

Sweetin, 26, filed papers Wednesday in Orange County, Calif., for legal separation from Cody Herpin, 31, whom the actress had once called a “blessing” who helped turn around her life after years of methamphetamine addiction. The couple became parents of daughter Zoie in April.  (via People)

Apparently, they were working on a reality show that will never be, but here are some possible titles anyway.

  • Clean Up This Meth
  • Home Sweetin Home
  • Fuller House (not to be confused with Filled Out House)
  • Jodie and Cody – It Rhymes!
  • Jodie, Cody and Zoie – It Almost Rhymes!
  • If You Take the “In” Off Their Last Names, They’re Jodie Sweet and Cody Herp

ABC = Alotta Bastardy Cancellations

Posted in ABC, Humor, NBC, TV with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 22, 2008 by sgottahurt

The brasstards over at ABC have done the apparently inevitable: they’ve cancelled Pushing Daisies, Dirty Sexy Money, and Eli Stone.  So we’ll be realistic about each one and give the Good News and the Bad News for each decision.

Pushing Daisies

  • Good News – Creator/writer Bryan Fuller will likely return to NBC’s Heroes to save their asses.  Also, they might do a theatrical version to wrap up the show’s loose ends.  Then there’s always the possibility of Fuller creating a new Star Trek show… 
  • Bad News – The show was hitting a solid stride in terms of creativity and clarity (the season’s first few episodes were a little bit all over the place), so it’s sad to see that it didn’t find an audience.  It also doesn’t help that it was bumped for two weeks.  But the worst news is the final episode to air is a cliff-hanger.  Let’s hope for that movie!

Dirty Sexy Money

  • Good NewsBlair Underwood at least was recognized by People Magazine as one of the Sexiest Men Alive before his show died?  One less Baldwin (William) and Sutherland (Donald) on TV?
  • Bad News – None of these actors may get another job any time soon?  Seriously, they dug up an interesting cast for this show.  And it’s not to curse them – it’s just… whatever.

Eli Stone

  • Good News – No more weekly chance of George Michael singing on TV.  Also, producer/writer Greg Berlanti can have more focus when he’s working on 2010’s Green Lantern.  (To note: Berlanti also produced Dirty Sexy Money.  Talk about bad luck.)
  • Bad News – No more weekly chance of seeing Julie Gonzalo on TV.
Asta la vista, Julie

Asta la vista, Julie

(via EOnline)