Archive for December, 2008

SNL Real-Time Blog

Posted in Humor, NBC, TV with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 14, 2008 by sgottahurt

11:30Cold Open – A skit Andy Samberg did a couple weeks ago was cut because of bleeped-out cussing, yet this skit’s only highlight was the cussing.  Maybe if I knew more about the Governor of Illinois it might have been funnier, but the crowd didn’t seem too into either.  Also, the Kristen Wiig Counter is at 1.

11:38Hugh Laurie’s Monologue – I don’t know why my mind expected him to walk out with a limp and a cane, (that’d be like me expecting him to come out holding Stuart Little), but for some reason I forgot about his accent, too.  His jokes were very dry, as was his Christmas song medley, but Laurie’s likability shone through, so… win?

11:43Bronx Beat Maya Rudolph is back (?) and Amy Poehler is back to regular size.  You could feel the comfort level and rapport between these two fine comediennes, especially when they took Laurie to the ropes making innuendos about cuts of meat (he played a local butcher).  The distinguished actor that he is almost broke character, so that made it work.

11:54Christmas Dinner – Short tempers flare at a dinner party.  The dinner party’s saved by a rendition of Silent Night, Holy Night… almost.  Does ir save the skit… not even close.  So far I feel Laurie’s skills are being squandered.  Or maybe he’s not funny.  Or maybe his Brit humor clashes with the farting humor this show tends to have.  Nonetheless, the idea of subtle tensions at a dinner party worked better in Will Farrell’s classic “I drive a Dodge Stratus” skit.  Wiig Counter: 2

12:02 – Wedding Toasts – This skit was actually pretty good.  Everyone rotated as eccentrics giving toasts.  I liked Bobby Moynihan’s mic drop the best (see I learned his name – I pray he doesn’t have that waiter skit tonight).  Wiig Counter: 3

12:11 – Um… wow… and not good wow.  Kanye West should not sing.  Because he can’t.  If the Lil Wayne digitizer was supposed to do something to his voice it didn’t.  And his look was ridiculous.  Also, I’m beginning to think half of the people that work on this show already checked out for the holidays.

12:17Weekend Update – It’s funny how they get Fred Armison to play every black guy (and Maya Rudolph to play every black woman… Kenan Thompson only gets to play the fat black men and women).  This time he was New York governor, David Patterson, and he was humorous enough (especially when he kept wandering in front of the camera a la McCain).  Really!?! with Seth & Amy is one of my favorite bits, so I was happy to see them attack Governor Rod Blagojevich (saying his hair was like Little People toys was spot on <—British!)  The worst part was Poehler announcing this was her last episode.  Thanks for the laughs, Amy… you will be missed!

12:32Lamps! – Um… weird… and not good weird.  Living lamps?  Holding their owner’s hostage?  And it’s a musical?  Who thought of this?  Seriously, I am beginning to think everyone on the staff has left.  Wiig Counter: 4

12:39 Cat Christmas Letter – Don’t know why, but cat humor almost always gets me.  On the other hand, dead cat humor always gets me.  Sprinkle it with passive-aggressiveness and puns – purrrrrrrfect!  Wiig Counter: 5

12:48 Digital Short – Amidst discussion of layoffs, Armison’s cookie fanatic finds himself eating something that’s not quite cookies.  Armison sells it.  Still, I’m reminded of a better old skit with Rainn Wilson.

12:53Kanye’s back.  Isn’t that the same song?  I know it’s not, but what happened to this guy?  I loved College Dropout so much.  This new stuff is crap.  And stop singing/rapping about Louis Vuitton!

1:00 – What a let down compared to last week’s homerun of an episode, AND it’s Amy Poehler’s last?  Bummer.

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Leno To Jay Up Primetime

Posted in ABC, Film, Humor, NBC, TV with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on December 10, 2008 by sgottahurt

What has NBC become?  Besides a shadow of its former self in the 80’s and 90’s, it’s become home for another late night talk show.  Maybe late is an overstatement (from NY Times):

…(Jay) Leno’s new show will appear at 10 o’clock each weeknight in a format similar to “The Tonight Show,” which he has hosted since 1993…

This is a move made to keep a promise made to Conan O’Brien five years ago (that he would take hold of Johnny Carson’s reigns, ‘natch), and to keep Leno from becoming possible competition a la David Letterman, which happened when he moved to CBS back in the day.

This plan will also take pressure off the creative vacuum at the Peacock Network to script worthy prime time shows.  Since ER is flat-lining at the end of this season, all they’ll have to do is move any remaining Law & Orders to 9pm.  Bonus: they’ll be saving $13,000,000 a week.

For those of you worried about the new show’s content, put your mind at ease:

…The new show, which will begin next fall, is expected to be set in Mr. Leno’s longtime studio in Burbank, Calif. Mr. Leno is expected to retain many of the most popular elements of his “Tonight Show,” including his monologue and bits like “Headlines” and “Jay Walking.” One “Tonight Show” staff member said the new program would not be a variety show.

Here’s a few suggested uses for the surplus $13 million/week:

  1. Get the rights to Pushing Daisies from ABC and produce it.  It’s better than anything else NBC puts out (My Own Worst Enemy, Knight Rider, Heroes).
  2. Produce a show like Pushing Daisies.  A TV show based on Fables (a comic book series where fairy tale characters interact in the real world) is looking for a home.  Sign ’em up!
  3. Give it to the Big Three auto makers in Detroit.  They could become the Big G.E. Three
  4. Pay to keep good people on Saturday Night Live.  Not everyone that walks away is a guaranteed success.  Make Studio 8H their home.
  5. Promote the hell out of 30 Rock.  Make Alec happy.
  6. Get some talent involved in the writing of Heroes.
  7. Give it to Conan.  He deserves it.

Wednesday’s TV Picks

Posted in ABC, CBS, Humor, NBC, TV with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 10, 2008 by sgottahurt

8pmABC’s Pushing Daisies, blah blah blah.  Mere episodes are left of the creative show, so you could ride it out until the cliffhanger (yippie!), or go with The New Adventures of Old Christine and Gary Unmarried on CBSJulia Louis-Dreyfus is one of the few pretty ladies with the comedic chops to match, and Jay Mohr stars with Paula Marshall and Jaime King… both of whom have been naked on cable and film, so kudos to him.

9pmLife on NBC stars Sarah Shahi.  In most episodes, she happens to be in various states of undress.  Think – the second coming of Eva Longoria, minus the hype and annoying.

Sarah Shahi is not shy

Sarah Shahi is not shy

10pm – Can’t wait ’til Jay Leno’s new show starts!  Not really… but there isn’t any crap on except for Law & Snoreder on NBC and Dirty Sexy Money Pit on ABC.  Do anything else instead.

Survivor Recap And Review: What About Bob?

Posted in CBS, Humor with tags , , on December 7, 2008 by sgottahurt

Doesn’t anyone know how to play this game anymore?

So on this past week’s Survivor, Bob tried to pull a quick one which failed, but in the grand scheme of things, he might have inadvertantly improved his situation.

Basically, he fashioned another immunity idol (where is he getting all those beads?), and hoped to use it to sway everyone to vote Matty out and save Corinne.  Both he and Corinne told Kenny this plan, thinking Kenny could get Crystal to go along with the idea, which he could and would, but the backfire was a loud one coming.

The inherent flaw in the plan is this: the idol isn’t real.  Of course, Kenny would try to flush it out.  He’s dumb, but not stupid.  Mor-on that in a second.  Why-oh-why did Bob and Corinne think he would let her keep it.  One alternative could have included Bob telling Kenny he had the allegedly tossed idol, and he would swear to let him use it if needed, under the condition that he would vote Matty out.  It might not have worked, but it’s a better plan than the one they went with.

Here’s where I think Kenny made a fatal flaw: if the idol was real, two votes would have been enough to knock out Matty.  I know he thought it was fool-proof, so what did it matter?  But now the game will/should/must change further. 

This is the way I see it.  Matty probably expected Corinne and Bob’s votes.  Kenny’s he did not.  What Matty (along with Sugar and Bob) needs to realize is Kenny, Crystal, and Susie are the weakest powerhouse ever.  They will not be broken in theory.  Matty should set his sights on Kenny, and to do so he needs to forge an alliance with the teacher and the pin-up girl whom actually has the real immunity idol.

I’ll give huge kudos to Bob if this was his plan all along, but somehow I doubt it.  My conspiracy theory is this: the producers provided him the materials to build fake idols, and the plots to give one to Randy to get in with Sugar and the second to stir the pot up.  What did he get out of it?  The safari walk he went on while at Exile Island.  Why else were there helicopters swooping around to capture the panoramic view of him?

The finale is on December 14th on CBS.  One week to go, then one month until my other island show is back.

SNL Real-Time Blog

Posted in Humor, NBC with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 7, 2008 by sgottahurt

11:30 – Cold Open: Hillary Clinton, Secretary of State – Yay!  Amy Poehler’s back!  Barack Obama winning slam: check.  Sarah Palin dig: check.  Hillary’s chuckle: check.  Bill: check.  Happy days are here again!

 

11:35 – For John Malkovich’s third time hosting, he read Twas the Night Before Christmas, complete with dark and honest asides, such as descibing how in reality, Santa would burst into flames trying to fly around the world so fast.  Chuckle inducing.

 

11:41Gas Right Commercial30 Rock (which is loosely based on the idea of SNL) always makes jokes about how they use too many fart jokes in their skits.  Guess what this skit’s about.

 

11:45 – Work Birthday Party – Let me start by saying this: Kristen Wiig is like in every skit.  So we’ll began the Wiig Counter at 1.  In this one, she plays the hot bimbo in the office that loses her sex appeal bit by bit.  I’ll finish by saying this: her comedy chops improve on a weekly basis.  She’s come a long way since the Joe Schmo Show.

 

11:52Obama Cool Cat Ad – He keeps it cool.  Funny.  Liked this one a lot.

 

11:57La Rivista Della TelevisioneMalkovich is on an Italian talk show and can’t speak it.  Simple, but good.  New guy whose name I don’t know made me laugh in this one.

 

12:02Digital Short: Virgania Horsen’s Pony ExpressKristen goes solo on this short, if you don’t count the guest appearances by herself.  Wiig Counter: 2 (not counting multiple Wiigs)

 

12:04Christmas Twins – I’ve never seen a calculator joke go on for so long, but somehow it still kinda works… mostly because it’s short.

 

12:11T.I.’s first song.  I’m indifferent.

 

12:17Weekend Update – Again, yay AmyPlaxico Burress (Kenan Thompson) warns about the dangers of wearing sweatpants and concealing guns.  Boy George (Fred Armison) couldn’t keep a straight face (no pun intended).  And a different nine-year old boy has better tips on getting girls – like using cocaine.

 

12:34Lost Works of Judy Blume: GertieMalkovich plays Gertie, the crazy mutant girl that has her period for three months, foams at the mouth and blacks out when she thinks of cute boys, and is growing a tail… Overall, a pretty funny skit about a pretty ugly girl.  Kenan Thompson’s song even made me smile.  Wiig Counter: 3, Abby Elliott Counter: 1  😦

 

12:42Digital Short: Jizz in my Pants – Molly Sims, Jamie Lynn Sigler, and Justin Timberlake guest star in  the second great short that’s sure to be a classic… it may not reach Lazy Sunday or Dick in a Box heights, but at least the level of Natalie Portman’s rap and Iran So FarJorma Taccone is the other Dude.

 

12:49 – Rocking hip hop by T.I.  I kinda like it.

 

12:54Dangerous Liaison Redux: J’accuzzi – French aristocrats in a hot tub.  Throw away final skit that isn’t awful, but not super funny.  J’silly.

Lost Season 5 Preview – Run Kate Run!

Posted in ABC, Humor, TV, Video with tags , , , , , on December 3, 2008 by sgottahurt

Do not get me wrong – I absolutely thirst for this show.  The wait has caused my lungs to collapse and my other addictions to relapse.

Pretty much like how it is for Kate.  In this snippet of a preview for the Season 5 Premiere of ABC’s Lost, we quickly come to realize Kate hasn’t broken her old habits… namely, running from Johnny Law.  I’ll bet a nice return visit to the Island should solve everything…

January 21st can’t get here quick enough.

Wednesday’s TV Picks

Posted in ABC, CBS, FOX, Humor, NBC, TV with tags , , , , , , , , , , on December 3, 2008 by sgottahurt

8pm – There’s nothing to be done for ABC’s Pushing Daisies except to say: buy the Season 2 DVD next year.  That having been said, you have your pick of Christmas retread-itions (NBC lights up their 30 Rock tree and CBS lights up Rudolph’s nose).  Or you can check out Fox’s Secret Millionaire.

According to Fox’s site:

Each week, one of the wealthiest Americans, worth millions of dollars, will go undercover into one of the most impoverished and dangerous towns in America. Their job is to spend one week canvassing the town – meeting as many people as possible – some of whom will touch the millionaire with their dedication to helping others while others will have incredible stories of trying to overcome tremendous odds. On the final day, the Secret Millionaire meets with the chosen recipients and reveals his/her true identity and intentions – to give them a sum of money that is going to change their lives forever.

Unless the Secret Millionaires are Mark Cuban, Bill Gates, or Donald Trump – not interested.  But if there’s a possibility for a mugging…

9pm – If you’re interested in the Grammy’s, then CBS is for you.  They’ll announce the nominees and Celine Dion will perform.  If you’re interested in Grammy’s… you have a problem.

10pm – To the opposite end of the spectrum: Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show.  On CBSVictoria’s Secret.  Fashion Show.  What part of this are you not getting?

Secret Santas

Secret Santas

 Much better than Secret Millionaires, indeed.