11:30 – Cold Open: Hillary Clinton, Secretary of State – Yay! Amy Poehler’s back! Barack Obama winning slam: check. Sarah Palin dig: check. Hillary’s chuckle: check. Bill: check. Happy days are here again!
11:35 – For John Malkovich’s third time hosting, he read Twas the Night Before Christmas, complete with dark and honest asides, such as descibing how in reality, Santa would burst into flames trying to fly around the world so fast. Chuckle inducing.
11:41 – Gas Right Commercial – 30 Rock (which is loosely based on the idea of SNL) always makes jokes about how they use too many fart jokes in their skits. Guess what this skit’s about.
11:45 – Work Birthday Party – Let me start by saying this: Kristen Wiig is like in every skit. So we’ll began the Wiig Counter at 1. In this one, she plays the hot bimbo in the office that loses her sex appeal bit by bit. I’ll finish by saying this: her comedy chops improve on a weekly basis. She’s come a long way since the Joe Schmo Show.
11:52 – Obama Cool Cat Ad – He keeps it cool. Funny. Liked this one a lot.
11:57 – La Rivista Della Televisione – Malkovich is on an Italian talk show and can’t speak it. Simple, but good. New guy whose name I don’t know made me laugh in this one.
12:02 – Digital Short: Virgania Horsen’s Pony Express – Kristen goes solo on this short, if you don’t count the guest appearances by herself. Wiig Counter: 2 (not counting multiple Wiigs)
12:04 – Christmas Twins – I’ve never seen a calculator joke go on for so long, but somehow it still kinda works… mostly because it’s short.
12:11 – T.I.’s first song. I’m indifferent.
12:17 – Weekend Update – Again, yay Amy! Plaxico Burress (Kenan Thompson) warns about the dangers of wearing sweatpants and concealing guns. Boy George (Fred Armison) couldn’t keep a straight face (no pun intended). And a different nine-year old boy has better tips on getting girls – like using cocaine.
12:34 – Lost Works of Judy Blume: Gertie – Malkovich plays Gertie, the crazy mutant girl that has her period for three months, foams at the mouth and blacks out when she thinks of cute boys, and is growing a tail… Overall, a pretty funny skit about a pretty ugly girl. Kenan Thompson’s song even made me smile. Wiig Counter: 3, Abby Elliott Counter: 1 😦
12:42 – Digital Short: Jizz in my Pants – Molly Sims, Jamie Lynn Sigler, and Justin Timberlake guest star in the second great short that’s sure to be a classic… it may not reach Lazy Sunday or Dick in a Box heights, but at least the level of Natalie Portman’s rap and Iran So Far. Jorma Taccone is the other Dude.
12:49 – Rocking hip hop by T.I. I kinda like it.
12:54 – Dangerous Liaison Redux: J’accuzzi – French aristocrats in a hot tub. Throw away final skit that isn’t awful, but not super funny. J’silly.
TV IS MY IV 