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Survivor: Gabon (Backseat Driver) Strategies

Posted in CBS, Humor, TV with tags , , , , , , , , , , on November 20, 2008 by sgottahurt

For those of you watching this season of Survivor, host Jeff Probst promises tonight’s episode to be one of the best of the season.

Here’s the strategy that us over at “TV Is My IV” would suggest to the remaining players:

Bob, Matty, and Sugar should form a new sub-alliance.  Kenny, Crystal, and Susie will not be broken up for any of those three, and Randy and Corinne simply need to go.

What Bob needs to do is convince Randy he’s on his side, and give him the fake Immunity Idol.  Then he can safely convince him to vote out Kenny or Susie (Crystal will never win immunity, and thus will be an easy target), while going to the others and telling them to vote for Randy.  I don’t know how it will totally work out, but it’d be sweet to see.

Another option should the new alliance not come to fruition – Bob should say Dan gave him the idol to make everyone else think Sugar’s is fake.

I don’t care what happens, as long as Bob or Sugar make some power play move.

What do you guys and gals think?

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Is Sarah Palin The Mom From “Bobby’s World?”

Posted in Humor, TV, Video with tags , , , , on November 20, 2008 by sgottahurt

(via Topless Robot’s Twitter)

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Wednesday’s TV Picks

Posted in ABC, CBS, Humor, MyNetwork, NBC, TV with tags , , , , , , , on November 19, 2008 by sgottahurt

8pm – I want to keep endorsing the unique and interesting Pushing Daisies on ABC, but I stumbled across something that sounds so painfully god-awful that I might have to recommend as an alternative.  From a review thread on IMDb:

I just watched this new video show and must admit, I had one small chuckle. This was one about a guy who fell asleep and people kept waking him up to ask the time. None of the PICKS OF THE WEEK were even remotely funny. Whoever screens these videos should really give their sense of humor an extreme makeover. There was hardly anything funny about this whole show. I had been wondering what had happened to Arsenio Hall. He must have ran out of money and got really desperate to accept this job. The writers should have stayed on strike where they didn’t have to inflict their bad taste on the rest of the world. I had set my DVR to record these shows, but have since erased all of them. Find something better for Wednesday night like going to the dentist.

The show in disdain: The World’s Funniest Moments on MyNetwork.  And did this one-star review mention Arsenio Hall?  And this about the funniest moments in the WORLD?!  I’m tempted… very tempted.

9pm – NBC‘s Life always gets very good reviews.  I tried to watch it once.  In the episode, they found a body buried in the foundation of a building.  I also think there was something to do with psychotropic drugs.  What does that mean?  To someone who has watched the show, maybe a lot.  To me – not so much so.

10pm – Ah, the bastard child of the CSI franchise, CSI: NY on CBS.  I’ve always liked Gary Sinise as an actor (even prior to Lt. Dan), and I always thought Melina Kanakaredes was a hot piece, but fans of CSI give this show the perpetual “meh” (which recently got some press itself).  Personally, I think the time is right for a CSI: Detroit.  It could open with The Who’s “Baba O’Riley.”  Oh, the New York one starts with that?  My bad.

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Tuesday’s TV Picked Scabs

Posted in ABC, CBS, Film, FOX, Humor, MyNetwork, NBC, The CW, TV with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 19, 2008 by sgottahurt

8pm – Fox’s House – Inspector Gadget gets the problem patient.  He crumbles up and tosses the message and everyone blows up.  Penny and Brain help Gadget solve the case!  Isn’t that how it always goes?

8pm – The CW’s 90210 – Wah, wah!  Catfight!  Underage sex!  Cameo!

8pm – CBS’ NCIS – Isn’t this that CSI show with the guy from Summer School?  Chainsaw rocks!

9pm – ABC’s Dancing With the Stars Results Show – Aretha Franklin, Leona Lewis, John Legend, and Julianne Hough sang… people danced… the producers successfully strung out a five-minute show into an hour (two hours if you count the hour recap before this hour)… and Cody Linley’s going home (I’ll miss you Julianne!)…

9pm – Fox’s Fringe – I’m waiting for the DVD of this show… if it gets a second season.  It’s Fox, so you know I’m right about trying not to get hooked on something they’ll cancel.  Assholes.

9pm – MyNetwork’s Jail – Back-to-back episodes that kind of act as a “Where are they now?” for former guests of Jerry Springer, People’s Court, and Cheaters.

10pm – NBC’s Law & Order: SVU – Didn’t that one dude play Casey Jones in the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Movie?  No?  Well, I know for a fact Ice-T played a mutant kangaroo.

10pm – ABC’s Eli Stone – Real quick Jonny Lee Miller facts:

  • Played Zero Cool in Hackers
  • Played Sick Boy in Trainspotting
  • Was married to Angelina Jolie
  • Now stars opposite Natasha Henstridge (who was super hot in Species, which was why she had to keep taking off her clothes) and the cute-as-a-button, Julie Gonzalo.  ‘Nuff said!
Julie Gonzalo

Julie Gonzalo

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Dancing With The Stars Recap (And Don’t Give Me Recrap About This)

Posted in ABC, Humor, TV with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 18, 2008 by sgottahurt

I know I’ve been watching Dancing with the Stars too long when I’m able to critique the dances the same way I judge singers on American Idol.  (Hey, just try watching blooming country star and two-time DWTS winner, Julianne Hough, So You Think You Can Dance winner Lacey Schwimmer, Australian Kym Johnson, or hot mama Brooke Burke dance once and tell me you don’t get the appeal of this show.)

Anyhulahoop, the semi-finals were on tonight, and I had to agree with the judges.  Only Lacey and Lance Bass showed up to compete in the both dances (plus Lance lost his foot ware in the second dance), but Brooke and Derek Hough brought the challenge back in the second round.  According to my calculations, Cody Linley or Warren Sapp should be going home tomorrow.

Gee, how I really wish I could be on this show so I could hold a pretty girl’s hand, or maybe she’d let me touch her bare belly for a little bit…

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The Roots Have Fallon And They Can’t Get Up!

Posted in Film, Humor, NBC, TV, Video with tags , , , , , , , , , on November 17, 2008 by sgottahurt

For those of you that may not know, Conan O’Brien is leaving his late night show.

Ha!  Gotcha!  (…prollynotrlly…)

Jimmy Fallon (formerly of Saturday Night Live and regrettably of Taxi) will be taking his place, when Conan will be taking Jay Leno’s place next year.  According to this article from Gawker, hip hop band The Roots might be his house band.

Imagine mixing these two acts together:

Click here for Fallon and click here for The Roots.

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Monday’s TV Anti-Picks

Posted in Humor, MyNetwork, NBC, The CW, TV, USA Network with tags , , , , , , , , on November 17, 2008 by sgottahurt

Since the normal guy that writes these picks isn’t doing his share, I’m going to select the absolute worst decisions to occupy your time between Jeopardy and your local evening news.

8pm – MyNetwork TV is airing a pair of reruns of the most recent remake of The Twilight Zone.  The first episode, “Tagged,” is basically like Heroes’ arc about Isaac the Painter.  An artist paints a portrait of his own demise… Oooh, scary!  The second one could be a Heroes storyline. too, which leads us perfectly into…

9pm – You thought I was going to put Heroes, but there’s something actually worse – One Tree Hill.  I didn’t even know that show was still on, to be honest.  Check it out on the CW.

10pm – I wanted to go with the series singing its swan song – My Own Worst Enemy, but I’d rather suggest watching WWE Monday Night RAW on the USA Network.  It starts at 9, so if you tune in an hour late, you’ll be totally lost!

NOTE: If you are a fan of any of these shows, my deepest condolences.  It must be hard having your mother still feed and bathe you.

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SNL Live Blog

Posted in Humor, NBC, TV, Video with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 16, 2008 by sgottahurt

1130 – We’re entering an era without Elephants, and I fear our comedy may suffer (unless Obama has a tubby intern that may catch his eye).  Jason Sudekis as Joe Biden tries to quell our (and Lorne’s) fears by suggesting he’ll screw something up.  Dan Quayle, he ain’t.

 

1133 – Did Don Pardo just mispronounce new castmate Michaela Watkins as Miunintelligible Watson?

 

1134 – Paul Rudd doesn’t seem to have high hopes for show post-election… Kristen Wiig seems to agree… I’m beginning to worry…

 

1135 – Did they just simulate an erection in the Sproingo spoof commercial?

 

1138 – Kissing Family Skit.  At first I wonder why Rudd is member of the family, with Andy Samberg as the visiting guest.  (I also wonder is this a recurring skit?  God, I hope not).  Ah the answer presents itself… Samberg and Fred Armison make out open-mouthed.

 

1144 – Disgusting!  I can’t stand these Charmin Ultra Strong commercials.  This one has them playing football with dingleberries.  Gross!

 

1148 – As a bone thrown to Kenan Thompson, this scared straight skit is meh at best.

 

1151 – Digital Short – Like the song Samberg made and played, but here’s a trend I’m sensing in this episode… what’s with all the gay humor?  No good fart skits coming to mind?  Majorly missing TV Funhouse right now.

 

(Remainder after the jump)

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Saturday’s TV Picks

Posted in Humor, NBC, TV with tags , , , , , , , , , on November 15, 2008 by sgottahurt

I’m not the usual guy who was writing these recommendation posts, but for me, today is all about waiting for Saturday Night Live.  They’ve recently lost Amy Poehler to a newborn and a supposed spinoff of The Office.  So tonight they are adding two new ladies to the cast: Michaela Watkins and my future ex-wife, Abby Elliot, daughter of SNL Alum, Chris Elliot.

The fine ladies over at Jezebel compiled a list of lessons for the latest additions.  You can find the entire list with video examples here.

Their strongest advice:

When In Doubt, Think Of Tina There is perhaps no better role model for the incoming women of SNL then Tina Fey, the woman who added to the show in every possible way, leading the writing team, anchoring Weekend Update, participating in several sketches, and creating a female-friendly environment that allowed women like Poehler, Dratch, and Rudolph to display their skills alongside their male co-stars.

Meet you ladies tonight at about 11:30.  I’ll be the guy in his boxers, sitting on his couch, being (hopefully) entertained by you while I eat leftover Halloween candy.

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NBC Looks to Clean Slate(r) Sooner Than Later

Posted in Humor, TV with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 14, 2008 by sgottahurt

The NBC Peacock is losing a few more feathers.  Since the suckfest that is “Heroes” can’t even draw in an audience for itself, the show that follows it – Christian Slater’s “My Own Worst Enemy” – is getting shit-canned.

Okay, maybe it’s getting cancelled not because of “Heroes” sucking, but because it actually sucks on its own.  (How would I know?  I never watched it.)

“Lipstick Jungle” is also getting the axe.  (I wanted to put axe-wound, but that would have been in bad taste, right?)

Do you have any cheese?

Do you have any cheese?

“Knight Rider,” which also bites dust is still going.  It might have been moderately watchable if Will Arnett had been the voice of KITT as originally planned.  (They gave the job to the fat guy from that garbage musical “The Ten Commandments.”  How do I know it was crap?  Because it’s a musical of “The Ten Commandments!”)

Sad news/ glad news: If ABC doesn’t renew “Pushing Daisies” (sad news), creator Bryan Fuller will return to be “Heroes” hero (glad news).  (He wrote the first season’s awesome HRG-focused episode, “Company Man.”)

Also glad news – Brooke Shields will be free to keep making Volkswagen commercials.

(via Entertainment Weekly and Hollywood Reporter)

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