Archive for the ABC Category

Wednesday’s TV Picks

Posted in ABC, Humor, NBC, TV with tags , , , , , , , , on November 26, 2008 by sgottahurt

8pm– Wow.  I can’t believe it.  It’s finally here.  It feels like I’ve been waiting fortyever (that’s ten regular forevers).  Not.  Rosie Live is on NBCROSIE O’DONNELL IS BACK ON TV!  Consider this karma because not enough of you assholes have been watching Pushing Daisies on ABC, and it’s going away.  Let me repeat that.  Pushing Daisies is getting cancelled – Rosie O’Donnell gets a fucking variety show.  I don’t care that they’re not on the same network, it’s still crap forty sure.

9pm– Let’s just stick with the suckfest that is everything NBC (except for their awesome Thursday night lineup).  Deal or No Deal has some idiot who couldn’t pull out quick enough THIRTEEN TIMES.  I bet he’s going to pick numbers real good.

10pm – On ABC, the Barbara Walters Special features an interview with President-Elect Barack Obama and his wife, Michelle.  If you happened to watch NBC for the previous two hours, I’d suggest getting a jump on your Thanksgiving dinner tonight by downing a bottle of Drano.

Uh... um... still not watching

Uh... um... still not watching

Tuesday’s TV Picks

Posted in ABC, CBS, FOX, Humor, NBC, TV, Video with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on November 25, 2008 by sgottahurt

8pmABC is hosting A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving.  It’s probably painful to watch as an adult, but if you’re willing to try, make sure you watch the above clip before the show starts.  Guaranteed warm fuzzy feelings.

9pm – Or actually, 9:08pm (Fox extended House to capture the crowd that tunes into Dancing with the Stars for just the dazzling opening)… The Mentalist is on CBS.  I know nothing about this show, but I do know it was rated the best new show by critics… or something like that.  Welcome to TV is my IV – where we make this shit up as we go along.  Moving along…

10pmLaw & Order: Special Victims Unit is on NBC.  There’s a Detective named Benson on this show?  Benson?  I loved that show as a kid!  Did you know it was a spin-off of Soap?  And wasn’t Robert Guillaume awesome on Sports Night?  I miss that show.

Monday’s TV Picks

Posted in ABC, CBS, FOX, NBC, TV with tags , , , , , , , , , , on November 24, 2008 by sgottahurt

8pm – On ABC, the two-night season finale of Dancing with the Stars begins.  Prediction: they will drag this process out as long as possible.  Winner: not us.

8:30pm – Not a lot of love has been shown for CBS’s How I Met Your Mother, so here it is now.  At is a pleasantly funny show.  (Notice the word hilarious was not used, mind you.)  Suggestion: pop over to this show if DWTS, Fox’s Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles, or NBC’s Chuck sucks.

9pmNBC’s Heroes.  Check out the questions Matt Roush from TV Guide had to face.  They’re not too tough.  They’re not too insightful.  It’s just better than watching the show.

10pm – Go to bed early.  Get through work on Tuesday.  Drink yourself silly when you get home tomorrow.  Go to work hungover on Wednesday.  Drink immediately after work to get rid of hangover.  Long weekend, here we come!

Full House To Get A Little Less Full

Posted in ABC, Humor, TV with tags , , , , , , on November 22, 2008 by sgottahurt
WTF?

Phone call from a flamingo? WTF?

It seems like only yesterday our little Stephanie Tanner was a washed up child star and resident meth head.  But then she got all cleanzed up and voila!  Married with baby!  Not anymore…

Former Full House star and new mom Jodie Sweetin is splitting with her husband.

Sweetin, 26, filed papers Wednesday in Orange County, Calif., for legal separation from Cody Herpin, 31, whom the actress had once called a “blessing” who helped turn around her life after years of methamphetamine addiction. The couple became parents of daughter Zoie in April.  (via People)

Apparently, they were working on a reality show that will never be, but here are some possible titles anyway.

  • Clean Up This Meth
  • Home Sweetin Home
  • Fuller House (not to be confused with Filled Out House)
  • Jodie and Cody – It Rhymes!
  • Jodie, Cody and Zoie – It Almost Rhymes!
  • If You Take the “In” Off Their Last Names, They’re Jodie Sweet and Cody Herp

ABC = Alotta Bastardy Cancellations

Posted in ABC, Humor, NBC, TV with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 22, 2008 by sgottahurt

The brasstards over at ABC have done the apparently inevitable: they’ve cancelled Pushing Daisies, Dirty Sexy Money, and Eli Stone.  So we’ll be realistic about each one and give the Good News and the Bad News for each decision.

Pushing Daisies

  • Good News – Creator/writer Bryan Fuller will likely return to NBC’s Heroes to save their asses.  Also, they might do a theatrical version to wrap up the show’s loose ends.  Then there’s always the possibility of Fuller creating a new Star Trek show… 
  • Bad News – The show was hitting a solid stride in terms of creativity and clarity (the season’s first few episodes were a little bit all over the place), so it’s sad to see that it didn’t find an audience.  It also doesn’t help that it was bumped for two weeks.  But the worst news is the final episode to air is a cliff-hanger.  Let’s hope for that movie!

Dirty Sexy Money

  • Good NewsBlair Underwood at least was recognized by People Magazine as one of the Sexiest Men Alive before his show died?  One less Baldwin (William) and Sutherland (Donald) on TV?
  • Bad News – None of these actors may get another job any time soon?  Seriously, they dug up an interesting cast for this show.  And it’s not to curse them – it’s just… whatever.

Eli Stone

  • Good News – No more weekly chance of George Michael singing on TV.  Also, producer/writer Greg Berlanti can have more focus when he’s working on 2010’s Green Lantern.  (To note: Berlanti also produced Dirty Sexy Money.  Talk about bad luck.)
  • Bad News – No more weekly chance of seeing Julie Gonzalo on TV.
Asta la vista, Julie

Asta la vista, Julie

(via EOnline)

Wednesday’s TV Picks

Posted in ABC, CBS, Humor, MyNetwork, NBC, TV with tags , , , , , , , on November 19, 2008 by sgottahurt

8pm – I want to keep endorsing the unique and interesting Pushing Daisies on ABC, but I stumbled across something that sounds so painfully god-awful that I might have to recommend as an alternative.  From a review thread on IMDb:

I just watched this new video show and must admit, I had one small chuckle. This was one about a guy who fell asleep and people kept waking him up to ask the time. None of the PICKS OF THE WEEK were even remotely funny. Whoever screens these videos should really give their sense of humor an extreme makeover. There was hardly anything funny about this whole show. I had been wondering what had happened to Arsenio Hall. He must have ran out of money and got really desperate to accept this job. The writers should have stayed on strike where they didn’t have to inflict their bad taste on the rest of the world. I had set my DVR to record these shows, but have since erased all of them. Find something better for Wednesday night like going to the dentist.

The show in disdain: The World’s Funniest Moments on MyNetwork.  And did this one-star review mention Arsenio Hall?  And this about the funniest moments in the WORLD?!  I’m tempted… very tempted.

9pmNBC‘s Life always gets very good reviews.  I tried to watch it once.  In the episode, they found a body buried in the foundation of a building.  I also think there was something to do with psychotropic drugs.  What does that mean?  To someone who has watched the show, maybe a lot.  To me – not so much so.

10pm – Ah, the bastard child of the CSI franchise, CSI: NY on CBS.  I’ve always liked Gary Sinise as an actor (even prior to Lt. Dan), and I always thought Melina Kanakaredes was a hot piece, but fans of CSI give this show the perpetual “meh” (which recently got some press itself).  Personally, I think the time is right for a CSI: Detroit.  It could open with The Who’s “Baba O’Riley.”  Oh, the New York one starts with that?  My bad.

Tuesday’s TV Picked Scabs

Posted in ABC, CBS, Film, FOX, Humor, MyNetwork, NBC, The CW, TV with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 19, 2008 by sgottahurt

8pm – Fox’s HouseInspector Gadget gets the problem patient.  He crumbles up and tosses the message and everyone blows up.  Penny and Brain help Gadget solve the case!  Isn’t that how it always goes?

8pm – The CW’s 90210 – Wah, wah!  Catfight!  Underage sex!  Cameo!

8pm – CBS’ NCIS – Isn’t this that CSI show with the guy from Summer SchoolChainsaw rocks!

9pm – ABC’s Dancing With the Stars Results ShowAretha Franklin, Leona Lewis, John Legend, and Julianne Hough sang… people danced… the producers successfully strung out a five-minute show into an hour (two hours if you count the hour recap before this hour)… and Cody Linley’s going home (I’ll miss you Julianne!)…

9pm – Fox’s Fringe – I’m waiting for the DVD of this show… if it gets a second season.  It’s Fox, so you know I’m right about trying not to get hooked on something they’ll cancel.  Assholes.

9pm – MyNetwork’s Jail – Back-to-back episodes that kind of act as a “Where are they now?” for former guests of Jerry Springer, People’s Court, and Cheaters.

10pm – NBC’s Law & Order: SVU – Didn’t that one dude play Casey Jones in the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Movie?  No?  Well, I know for a fact Ice-T played a mutant kangaroo.

10pm – ABC’s Eli Stone – Real quick Jonny Lee Miller facts:

  • Played Zero Cool in Hackers
  • Played Sick Boy in Trainspotting
  • Was married to Angelina Jolie
  • Now stars opposite Natasha Henstridge (who was super hot in Species, which was why she had to keep taking off her clothes) and the cute-as-a-button, Julie Gonzalo.  ‘Nuff said!
Julie Gonzalo

Julie Gonzalo

Dancing With The Stars Recap (And Don’t Give Me Recrap About This)

Posted in ABC, Humor, TV with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 18, 2008 by sgottahurt

I know I’ve been watching Dancing with the Stars too long when I’m able to critique the dances the same way I judge singers on American Idol.  (Hey, just try watching blooming country star and two-time DWTS winner, Julianne Hough, So You Think You Can Dance winner Lacey Schwimmer, Australian Kym Johnson, or hot mama Brooke Burke dance once and tell me you don’t get the appeal of this show.)

Anyhulahoop, the semi-finals were on tonight, and I had to agree with the judges.  Only Lacey and Lance Bass showed up to compete in the both dances (plus Lance lost his foot ware in the second dance), but Brooke and Derek Hough brought the challenge back in the second round.  According to my calculations, Cody Linley or Warren Sapp should be going home tomorrow.

Gee, how I really wish I could be on this show so I could hold a pretty girl’s hand, or maybe she’d let me touch her bare belly for a little bit…